Another year, another list of things we “need to improve”
Here we are again: the end of a calendar year. Since we’re moving not only into a brand new year, but also a new decade, it feels a little more like ending an entire book vs. just flipping the page to a new chapter. We’re right smack dab in the middle of “new year resolution” talk, which can get really exhausting and cause a lot of unnecessary pressure and anxiety. If you’re older than the age of 15, there’s a good chance you’re familiar with the pressure to become a “better” you that takes place every January 1st.
With this new decade upon us, it’s natural to feel like we somehow need to prepare to become the best version of ourselves possible. Get ready to stop eating bread and start running 5 miles every day and get in bed at 8:30 and wake up at 5am, so we can exercise and meditate and drink a million gallons of water and fit into this perfect mold that society wants so badly for us to confine to. Oh, and don’t forget the celery juice.
So I’m just gonna get right to the point: it doesn’t have to be this way.
What if the best version of yourself was the one you are right here, in this very moment?
What if we just cut the “New Year, New You” bullshit?
Goals ARE important
I think goals are super valuable. I think setting the tone and having a vision for what you want to have happen is important, but I believe there’s a way to do this without creating the narrative around January 1st being a day where all of a sudden you’re supposed to completely change all the parts of yourself that need improving. (improvement according to whom?)
You can be you, and you’re still just as worthy as the person who has the new year resolution of going to the gym 7x a week, and cutting out sugar and gluten… not because they have celiacs though, just because. (bless)
The “be better” trap
I’m well acquainted with the desire to change and improve, and the feeling that it has to happen NOW.
My birthday is January 3rd which is sorta this double whammy of BE BETTER, NOW’S YOUR CHANCE!!!!! I’ve spent most of my life feeling the pressure of “new year, new you”, but it hits me double hard because I’m also celebrating a new year of my life. All in the same week! All in the week that follows Christmastime and holiday celebrations, and cookies and wine, and alllllll that is considered to be “indulgent”.
I’m not here to tell you that I’ve figured it all out. I can’t say that I don’t give af about “bettering” myself and the pressure I feel is gone. That would be a lie. But, what I can say for sure is that this year, I’m working towards being more compassionate with myself. I’m gonna try approaching 2020 from a place of love and self acceptance rather than a checklist of all that needs changing and fixing.
The truth is, no matter how much I fight to remove diet culture from my life and battle to minimize the negative self talk in my head, I still struggle every day.
When I step back and look at my life and all that I’ve accomplished at my age, and how many lives I impact every day, I still have a nagging sensation that I should be doing more. I should be better.
This is the narrative I’m trying to shift. These are the details in my life that I’m choosing to focus on this new year.
When I look in the mirror, I want to feel grateful and I want to feel love for the amazing miracle that is my body. I want to remember that she works so hard, every second of every day to keep me alive, instead of tearing her apart because she’s a bit softer around the edges than I’d like.
When I look at my life, I’d like to remember that there was a time when all I wanted was to be where I am today, and when will that ever be enough?
So as you roll into this brand new year, I want to encourage you to really, I mean really, take a look at what you want to work on. This year, instead of the focus being on changing your physical appearance, maybe you can refocus your energy on figuring out why you feel like that needs changing in the first place.
Who told you that you’d be more worthy if you changed your shape or your diet? Who convinced you that you’d be more lovable if you got a promotion and made more money? What if this new start meant learning to love yourself? What if there was nothing to fix?
You are worthy now.
You are worthy of love and belonging, just exactly as you are in this moment.
2020, we ready! ????
Happy New Year, y’all!
